Trans Ethics: What did you do before you started camming?

Niki Flux: I was a software/web developer, specialising in building sales funnel systems based around google adwords.

TE: That sounds like a very lucrative career. What attracted you to camming?

NF: It paid pretty well. I’ve always liked numbers and I really enjoy being able to organize a bunch of numbers into something which magically produces money… it’s a very cool process to be part of. Unfortunately I often found my clients needy and annoying which took a lot of the fun out of it. I also wasn’t happy with myself, and at the time things were coming to a head with me [regarding being transgender] which made for quite a destructive combination.

With camming — I don’t really know… it sorta just *happened*. I was starting to accept who I was — kinks and all — and camming was just another facet of [me] being allowed to be me, and celebrate that rather than hiding it. It wasn’t really even camming at first… it was just accepting that I had fetishes… and that was okay. In fact it was better than okay… it was actually rather fun.

TE: So you got into camming as a way to express the fact that you are trans and had certain fetishes?

NF: Not as a way to do it – I think it was perhaps more like a natural by-product of the process.

TE: Do you find camming is more fulfilling than a typical day job?

NF: Well, I never really had a typical day job so not sure I can comment. But yes, overall I enjoy camming a lot, and –whilst it has its fair share of twats– I get clients, callers etc., where I come away from the conversation feeling like I’ve actually changed someone’s life for the better. I’m not on about people getting their jollies here, though that’s obviously fun. I mean more like… I know from first hand experience what it’s like having secret fetishes or uncomfortable feelings and being ashamed of them. Trying to repress [those desires] can be very isolating and lonely. It can fuck with your whole self-esteem and self perception really negatively.

I know what a difference it made to me when I was first able to talk about that stuff with a friend who wasn’t judgmental. I was lucky and had someone I could talk to. I feel like there’s a lot of people who don’t have anyone, and they’re just locked in their lives with this thing boiling over in the background. Simply having someone non-judgmental to talk to about it can make ALL the difference and I’m kinda honoured to be that person for a number of my clients. Also, people are trusting [me] with their very deepest darkest desires… there’s a level of trust in that too which I find quite intoxicating.

TE: How would you respond to critics who say sex work & camming is unethical?

NF: How exactly is that the case? (lol) no really.. I mean, what the fuck leads them to that conclusion? Now banking… that’s a shady game. (lol)

TE: It’s no secret that you recently had Gender Confirmation Surgery. How has that effected your clientele?

NF: It’s had surprisingly little effect actually. But then I had spent much of the previous year moving away from cock-centric activities. Even so, I expected more of a drop-off. I’ve been surprised by the number of people specifically into post-op girls. When I flew out to Thailand, I genuinely didn’t know if I would still have a job when I got home. Fortunately I do. (smiles) I guess in theory becoming more at peace with yourself, your body should only have positive effects, since it would affect confidence etc., but theory often doesn’t live up to practice.

TE: There has been a lot of articles on the internet regarding “trans regret” — what are your thoughts on that?

NF: Yeah — I regret I didn’t do this sooner. (lol)

TE: What would you say to someone who wanted to transition, but was too afraid to come out?

NF: I think if you try and plan your entire transition from that starting point, you’re likely to go bonkers. It’s too big and your perspectives will change along the way. Whilst preparation is good in terms of making sure you have enough money along the way and whatnot, not everyone has that luxury. I think the only way to really approach it is one step at a time. In my case I started with IPL (Intense Pulse of Light — for hair removal) because even if I didn’t go ahead and transition, fuck having to shave every day. That was something I was sure of, regardless of whether I transitioned. Eventually I think you have to get to a point where you stop worrying about what other people think. The moment you start stepping out of your front door in “assigned-sex-innappropriate” clothes, and continue to do so,  you simply have to be able to let go of what other people think or you’d go nuts.

It’s actually very liberating when you manage it but it’s not an easy thing to do. I’d hoped to move [to a new house] by the time I went full-time — So I’d leave the one place as a “guy” and arrive the new place as a woman. But things didn’t work out like that, and I had to transition where I was. And yes going Full Time from one day to the next was crazy-nerve wracking and I’m sure we were the talk of our neighbours for a while. Eventually things settle down and people see that the sky hasn’t fallen, and things go back to normal.

TE: Losing friends and family is an unfortunate common fear among trans people — trans women in particular. How did coming out and transitioning affect your personal relationships?

NF: Losing friends – yeah well it’s a well-grounded fear. I think friends-wise I was actually quite lucky. My friends were generally tending towards the eccentric & unusual anyway, so were mostly quite open-minded. I did sorta feel everyone withdraw for a while, but then again things settled down.

TE: The UK has recently enacted a bunch of laws regulating the sex industry. How have those had an impact on what you do?

NF: So far they’ve not really had any practical impact, but I’d been planning to do more based around pain, corporal punishment, whipping etc., and see how far I could push that. The new laws potentially scupper a number of those plans. Or not, it’s still a bit too early to tell.

TE: As a sex worker, do you think those laws were intended to protect you, or just to hurt your bottom line?

NF: As a sex worker I think the people making the laws don’t have a fucking clue what they’re talking about. It’s more about posturing and being seen to be doing something than actually doing something. people feeding their agendas. the whole thing is such a load of nonsense I don’t know where to start (lol). At the end of the day it doesn’t really matter why things were done anyway. It’s done, [and] entrepreneurs will simply adapt and overcome. Though I reckon my actual well-being probably rates a pretty long way down whatever list of priorities was in play.

TE: Have you done work with other trans women?

NF: I did some filming & photography with another friend who’s TS but I was purely behind the lens there. (TS-Kelly-Anne as of the squirting/gushing clip.)

TE: Would you consider shooting a video with trans women in the future?

NF: Oh yes definitely, though I’ve found I have a bit of a problem with women in submissive positions…

TE: Such as?

NF: Well… part of me really has a problem with [me domming trans women]. They shouldn’t be submissive to me.

TE: How would you describe ethical sex work?

NF: In principle it’s where people aren’t getting exploited or fucked over. i guess in practice that means when we do shoots it’s because we had an idea we thought worth pursuing. With camming/domming I guess it would mean not fucking your clients over –except for where that’s what they’ve asked for of course– and not trying to cheat people.

TE: And it’s all consensual.

NF: Yes — consent is a huge thing for me. This is supposed to be about fun and perhaps a little self development [and] horizon-broadening along the way. Nobody should be there *genuinely* against their will. (I keep finding I’ve got to add exceptions.. like *except for when it’s consensual non-consent — and “don’t fuck your clients over” — unless that’s what they’ve paid for.) Strange job.

TE: Being a trans sex worker, how do you feel about the industry using terms like “tranny” and “shemale” to describe you?

NF: I think that’s something which is mostly dying out. As far as I know “shemale” is classified as a “hate term” as far as Google is concerned. So apart from anything else, it’s on the way out because Google says so (to some extent). I think the terms probably persist because the people they’re dealing with (as in the porn sites where these terms are used) were at the very beginning of their exploration of the transgender rabbit hole, and that the terms are still used perhaps reflects a lack of understanding/education about the subject on the clientele’s part, [rather] than it being intended as derogatory.

TE: Just one more question: As a sex worker, how do you respond to mainstream feminists who claim you are a victim and need to be helped out of the sex industry?

NF: #notyourmotherfuckignrescueproject {micdrop}

Visit Niki Flux’s full site here.