Trans Ethics: How did you get started in the sex industry?
Honey FoXXX: I was 18 Years old and I was living in South Central (Los Angeles). This is a time pre-transition. I was on the 103rd street train station and this talent producer Robbie said “You look like you have a big dick.” He gave me his card and a week later I was shooting for gay porn.
TE: So you started pre-transition… how long were you doing that before you decided to get on hormones and start being your true self?
HF: I did gay porn for almost two years. I started my transition and taking hormones at 19, but I didn’t start living full time until I was 20, which is when I was discovered by Danielle FoX, which is how I got into TS porn.
TE: When you were growing up, did you ever think that the sex industry would become your career?
HF: Honestly… NO! No way! I was shy and quiet. I was kinda nerdy. Plus my parents were pretty conservative for a gay couple so I was very sheltered for a long time.
TE: How did your parents react to your transition?
HF: My transition was rough on my parents. I was their first adopted child and I was a handsome guy. I don’t think they wanted to believe it for a long time. but after many heart felt conversations and some space and time they are the best supportive parents I could ask for. One of my dads has even come to my drag shows.
TE: How long did it that process take… for them to accept the true you?
HF: Well, it took them a good three to four years to fully accept it. Once they saw it wasn’t a phase and they saw the alterations I made to my body (botox, fillers, breast implants) they really made an effort to support me.
TE: So many trans women don’t have the luxury of supportive parents. What would you say to a trans woman who has been disowned by her family?
HF: I would tell them that family is not blood. As transgender and LGBTQ we get to choose our families because all we have are each other. I would also say that there are some amazing trans support groups for the outcasts. A safe place to be who they are and meet people who understand exactly what they are going through.
TE: What would you say to her parents?
HF: I would tell her parents to educate themselves. The worst thing you can do to a trans youth as a parent is to disown them. The world is a cruel place and as a parent, your child looks to you for support and to protect them. It takes a lot of courage for that child/youth to say to the world “I’m here and I am Transgender.” Without your support your child is at a high risk for suicide, prostitution, and death.
TE: Your twitter bio mentions that you do activism. How do you reach out to promote trans equality?
HF: Yes I am definitely an activist but its not trans specific. I like to think I’m an LGBTQI (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Questioning/Queer, Intersex) activist as I have done work for NOH8, It Gets Better, as well as anti-bullying campaigns. I started a non-profit initiative, Kodanonymous, as a way to give back to the LGBTQI community and raise awareness for important LGBTQI issues.
TE: Some trans people feel like their issues and needs get thrown under the bus in favor of more gay/lesbian-centric issues like equal marriage getting passed into law. How do you respond to that?
HF: I say that WE are a community. lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender as well as queer and gender non -conforming. If one aspect of out community suffers we all do. We need to unite as a community and fight through each obstacle society throws at us together. I had no reason to fight [California’s] Prop 8, but when I saw how it affected my parents from getting married, I saw that YES this is my fight too. So with that experience I think WE (LGBTQI) need to come together and fight society [which is] trying to ban trans people from using the bathrooms, WE need to fight for marriage equality rights nation wide and WE need to fight against [discrimination in] society TOGETHER!
TE: In California, Governor Brown signed legislation in 2014 that effectively made the trans-panic defense illegal. With the murders of so many trans women already in 2015, is the next step in LGBTQI activism getting the other states to follow California’s example?
HF: Definitely! We need to let people know that you will be punished for killing us! I think its such a cop-out excuse for the person to say the reason they murdered someone was because they panicked when they found out (he or she) was transgender. Its not okay! With eight or nine trans murders this year, not only am I in fear of my own life being targeted, but for my fellow trans community. There is something fundamentally wrong with our society when it comes to being trans. It is almost as if we aren’t humans. So yes, I think with nationwide legislation protecting us that would be a first step of many.
TE: Discrimination against trans women often pushes us into sex work. How do you respond to people who say that working in the sex industry is unethical?
HF: I would say that the trans employment and homeless rates are unethical. I think that unless you’ve been at the bottom with nothing as I have been –with no roof over your head, no money in your pocket, and no food to eat– you do some desperate things. I was in that place where I was working Santa Monica Boulevard to pay for a hotel room for the night, and to put food in my stomach. I escorted up until a few years ago while shooting porn and working a part-time job because I couldn’t find steady work. I am thankful now [that] I work for the City of Los Angeles (and have for for four years) and I’m able to encourage trans people to stay in school and get a degree. But not everyone has that option.
TE: You mentioned that Kodanonymous is your way of giving back to the LGBTQI Community. Tell me more about what Kodanonymous does.
HF: Kodanonymous has two aspects to it. The first is the podcast Tea Time. I created it to discuss and educate our community and allies about important taboo issues that society and the news sweeps under the rug. Also to share personal experiences from LGBTQI members.
The second part of Kodanonymous is the Pay It Forward Initiative which is an opportunity for Kodanonymous to make a direct impact in our community. Each Month we will give $400 cash to a community organization or cause. We want this to be an opportunity for everyone to get involved. We invite the community to come and volunteer and see how our efforts directly impact lives in our community. We volunteer at LGBTQI resource centers, as well as supporting LGBTQI events. We give money to causes that will pay for funeral expenses of LGBTQI families and friends, or pay for transgender HRT (hormone replacement therapy) for [transgender people] and so much more!
TE: That’s a very noble cause, and as a fellow trans woman, I thank you for your efforts in that area. Just one more question: If you were able to say anything to everyone in the world — one concise thought, what would it be?
HF: If we want change, WE (LGBTQI) have to be the voice of that change! WE as a community, WE as a unified voice are all we have.
TE: Thank you so much, Honey!
HF: Thank you. That was a an awesome interview.